(RSTGYTAM=”Ridiculous Shit to Get You Through A Monday”). Been a while since I’ve done one of these.
While googling the lyrics to…well, I better not say to protect my musical reputation…I chanced upon the following pop up window. It read: “I have slept with over 17 girls in 6 weeks using this technique.” “This technique” being a series of lectures and videos telling guys who are “socially awkward” how to make themselves more appealing to girls. Now, I’m not one to fall for consumer scams, but I’m flattered that the scammers see us women not only as valuable objects, on par with free purple Macbooks and $10,000 prize giveaways, but also as something to be tampered with only by those in possession of a secret technique once developed by the ancient ninja yogi masters. Please Webster, lay down the definitions. Clearly, seducing us is a delicate art form that may only be mastered by careful study of the fine print of the Black Book of Seduction.
Hear that boys? You better shape up. You can learn more about it at www.becomeaplayer.com.
No, really.
Despite my father’s constant denial of my status as an educated human being due the the fact that I have yet to finish reading The Three Musketeers (okay, French guys, horses, monarchy…I think I get the gist), I spent a great deal of my childhood reading and have become familiar with a fair number of books. Thanks to my twelfth-grade English teacher, I have also gotten through my share of obscure European novels that follow odd philosophical trends no one else seems to know about, which automatically make me sound smarter because that’s what happens when you bring up the words “phenomenology” and “penultimate” in class. However, never in my entire literary lifetime have I run across something as deeply disturbing, and yet so enticing, as this. I simply must read it. It sounds absolutely brilliant.
Last but not least, a link off one of my Facebook friends’ profiles, a Google list of one-hit wonders of the ’60s and ’70s. Not gonna tell you how many hours I spent on here. Too many.
Happy Monday,
N
